African-Centred Relationships in Ritual

By Dominic Phillips

At this point in our generation there is an underlying theme at the forefront of our conversations. Gender, relationships and power dynamics of the collective are shifting from 100's of years of colonial, patriachal, oppresive and repressive constructs into a poignant grey area that, once defined, will determine the shape of our future and ablity to work together and thrive as families, communities, tribes and ultimately, nations.

Our society has become such a diverse and ever evolving environment, many have now come to a stage of relinquishment to race, sexuality and gender issues. It seems as though within a few years of confinement and living in a reduced state of freedoms, white people are starting to realise that we are not all on a level playing field, and more importantly, it is the establishment that is the real cause for our confusion.

However, the question we need to ask ourselves is who really understands, personifies and embodies our struggles in the most authentic light, and what does 'our struggle' look, sound and feel like?

To clarify this, it is imperative that we truely understand and recognise our experience from a Black/African centred perspective.

Why?

Because deep within our consciousness we know that our Blackness and Black love, above all else, are the determining factors above all other modes of existence, and it is this essence and unifying force that has carried us through so many years of oppression.

Regardless of our individual experiences of integration, we recognise from an early age that whether it be a positive or negative, destructive or empowering lens that our non-Black counterparts view us through, and whether or not they are conscious of it, it is our Blackness that they see, and that we feel, that precedes everything else.

As a 34 year old Black man, when I look at my parents, grandparents and my immediate Black peers, although we see each others experience, we have been recultant to truly hold space for each other and allow for the vulnerable, unfiltered and sometimes resentful voice to let out pain and discomfort without judgement or reaction.

As Black people, we need to recognise that our relationship triggers and traumas are not a condition synonymous with Blackness. Rather, they are rooted in what was deliberately created during slavery through rape, religion, buck breaking, colorism/caste systems and restricted access to working roles.

Why should or would we delineate our existence into a merging of culture, when it was our culture that was intentionally torn from us, manipulated and used against us during the African holocaust, and to this day continues to be appropriated and monetised for the 'collective'?

No, it is now more than ever that we need to research, reclaim and reinstate with the infinite omnipresence of OURSTORY.

When you begin to tap into our spiritual legacies, it's clear that our continued reverence was the fire and force behind our resource, resistance and retribution that is still help deep within the vaults of our DNA today. The Haitian Revolution, Maroon communities and many other Carribean movements of resistance are clear examples of this.

Spiritual systems that trace back to likes of the Igbo, Yoroba, Akan, Dagara, Dogon, Ashanti, Zulu, Swazi, Kemet and countless more African groups of people were there to serve us as individuals, families, tribes and nations, long before there was any intervention of foreign influence.

The principles of masculine and feminine energies, spirit and the energetic body moving with heart-led intention. Living in tune with and respect for the plants, animals and natural world, and moving with integrity to live in truth, justice and righteousness are all entities and principles we still have access to. 

When we learn to develop a relationship with these unseen energies and ancient principles, we are ultimately taking a step toward nurturing the relationship to ourselves.

Finding and claiming African reference points gives us the opportunity to express ourselves and relate to each other from an authentic and harmonious platform, as we recognise that before anything else, spirit precedes everything. 

We know deep down that the foundation of our strength as a people lies in exactly that, moving as a unified people. We overstand the obstacles that those before us had to manoeuvre within, and what for many of us led to our disconnection and dismay as nuclear families, but now, more than ever, we have the opportunity to define ourselves, for ourselves. Accountability can either be our hindrance or strength.

Start a conversation with your ancestors, they walked the corners of earth hundreds and  thousands of years prior to the concrete jungles we have come to know. Our great ancestors, they have an intelligence thousands of years more equanimous to the source. They are still with us, our guiding force, and they want nothing more than for us to come back into balance, heal and come together.

Amidst all the adversity and inequalities, our true culture still dictates how so many of us choose to revel in all that we love about life itself, our music, food, character and creation.

Take ownership of the relationship to yourself and your healing as a displaced African, because once you do that, you will truly begin to see, hear and feel yourself as a valued member of our global united presence.

Follow Dominic on Instagram: @Pereiracouture & @Domperryy